


All Fitzmack, All Angsty

by respoftw



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Anti-Ward, Catatonia, Disfigurement, Hints of Smut, Hypothermia, Implied Torture, Kid Fic, M/M, Occasional bits of fluff, Scars, Sick Fic, kidnapped!Fitz, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 10:23:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 13,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3764593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Incredibly angsty short fics from my <a href="http://fitzheartmack.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> The challenge is to make an angtsy fic out of a fluffy prompt.</p><p>Please be warned: these are kind of depressing for the most part!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prompt: Spooning after their first time

**Author's Note:**

> No specific warnings for this chapter.

Fitz sighed happily as Mack pulled him closer, the big spoon to his little spoon.

Sex with Mack was everything he hoped it would be. He never knew that he could feel so full and loved. He smiled sleepily as he thought about returning the favour to Mack, watching Mack come undone under Fitz’s own hand.

Mack spoke then, a contented smile in his voice. “That was amazing babe. I want every night to be exactly like this.” Mack nuzzled into Fitz’s curls before drifting off to sleep.

Fitz had never felt less like sleeping. Mack wanted every night to be like this? Fitz had hoped that he would get a chance to take the lead next time. He had dreamt of being inside Mack, getting as close to him as it was possible to get. He had thought they would be equals in this, just as they had always been in everything else.

But of course, Mack wouldn’t bet interested in that. What had Fitz been thinking? Mack was so masculine, he was always the biggest man in any room. Why would someone like that let a scrawny runt like Fitz lead him.

If this was the only way he could have Mack then he would have to adjust. It was worth it, right?

Fitz lay awake for a long time that night, Mack’s embrace no longer the haven it had been before.


	2. Prompt: First Date at a Coffee Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings for this chapter

Mack checked his watch for the 15th time. He was sure they’d agreed on 2.30 as a meeting time, Fitz was late. 

He fired off another text, maybe he had the wrong coffee shop? No, it can’t be that. This is the coffee shop with the apple danish that Fitz loves. Mack knows that because he is sitting opposite an uneaten one that he had bought for Fitz.

It’s 3.30 now and Mack has to face the fact that he’s been stood up. This was supposed to have been their first date. After months of dancing around each other Mack had finally gathered up the courage to ask him out. 

He realised now that Fitz must have felt obligated to say yes. Mack had pushed him. He knew that Fitz wasn’t over Jemma, in fact now that he thinks about it, what made him so sure Fitz even liked guys that way? Disgusted with himself, Mack leaves the coffee shop, dropping the stale apple Danish in the trash as he goes.

The walk back to base calms Mack down, he’s decided that he needs to go and talk to Fitz. Apologise for coming on too strong. He hopes they can go back to being friends. It’ll hurt but the thought of not having Fitz in his life at all hurts more.

Except Fitz isn’t at the Base. Jemma worriedly informs Mack that Fitz had left for their date at 2.00. 

The team search far and wide but there is no sign of Fitz. They comb through CCTV footage but Fitz disappears in a blind spot and they can’t pick up a trail.

It’s been two weeks and still no sign of Fitz. 

Until there’s an attack on the US embassy in Rome. HYDRA. There’s new tech involved. Something that looks scarily like weaponised versions of Fitz’s drones. 

The surveillance footage confirms it. Outside the embassy there’s a blurry figure working a remote control. Mack would know that figure anywhere. It’s Fitz. HYDRA has Fitz…..


	3. Prompt:Mack making dinner for Fitz after a long day at work. Extra points if there’s a dessert that Mack has slaved over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings for this chapter

Mack put the finishing touches to the table, stepping back to survey his work.  _Perfect_ , he thought. 

He was looking forward to spoiling Fitz tonight.  They had moved into their own apartment away from the Base last month and the last box had finally been unpacked the day before.  Fitz had been working all the hours under the sun (and a fair few under the moon) for the past week trying to counter a particularly deadly HYDRA device but had finally succeeded today.

A celebration was in order.  Mack, now that he had his own kitchen, was indulging in his reclaimed love of cooking and had pulled out all the stops after receiving Fitz’s text a few hours ago.

Two courses of Fitz’s favourite meals followed by the most indulgent chocolate raspberry mousse that Mack planned to eat off of Fitz’s bare skin.

It would be their first perfect night in their new home.

Fitz came crashing through the front door just as Mack was finishing the salad.  He waited for the inevitable _“Honey, I’m home!”_ that Fitz found so amusing to shout out but it didn’t come.

Mack turned the oven off and padded barefoot into the living room to see what was up.  Fitz was sitting on their couch, head in his hands, a battered box at his feet.  Was that Henry the monkey he could see peeking out the box?

“Babe, is everything ok?" 

Fitz raised his head to show bloodshot, red-rimmed eyes.  "Agent Coulson fired me.”

Mack couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.  His confusion must have been evident on his face as Fitz started to explain in between hitched breaths.

“Apparently they felt…. _he_ felt….that it took me too long to come up with a solution to this problem.  He said my work’s been slipping since the..y'know.. and that they had hoped I would improve but…..I’m not good enough anymore.”

“Turbo…” Mack dropped to his knees in front of his distraught boyfriend.  How could Phil do this? How could May let him?  He needed to call Bobbi and Hunter.  They could help him sort this.

Fitz pulled Mack into a hug, needing the comfort.  “Everyone was there.  May said that she was sorry but that the old Fitz would have had this solved days ago….which would have saved thousands of lives…they’re right.  I’m not good enough, I’m a liability.”

Fitz broke off into sobs.  Mack was heartbroken for him.  He would be there for Fitz tonight and tomorrow he was going to sort this.  Dinner could wait.


	4. Prompt: Hand Holding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Implied Major Character Death here

Mack clung desperately on to Fitz’s hand. He wouldn’t let go, he _couldn’t_ let go.

Another lurch of the plane knocked Mack’s stronghold, causing him to slip closer to the open ramp, the open ramp that Fitz was currently dangling out.

Where was everyone else?  Mack gave another heartrending scream for help but no one came.  Mack was sobbing now, gulping down air as he tried not to think about how his hand was slipping.  He would not allow that to happen.

Fitz was strangely silent.  His beautiful blue eyes were wide as they stared into Mack’s.  “It’s alright”, Fitz whispered as the plane gave another lurch, sending them both ever closer to the sky.  Mack shouldn’t have been able to hear him, not with the air rushing through the bay and the alarms sounding but it was as if everything else had stopped.  _No, No, No_.  He knew what Fitz was going to do.

Fitz’s eyes were filled with sorrow as he whispered “I love you” and let go of Mack’s hand.


	5. Prompt: Looking through baby albums with Mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of Bullying

“Muuuuummmmm”, Fitz groaned. “Put those albums away, Mack doesnae want to see them.”

Fitz’s Mum slapped him lightly across the head. “Ah, away with yi, it was him that asked to see them!”

Fitz shoots Mack a betrayed look at that, making Mack chuckle. “Yeah, come on Turbo, I bet you were a cute baby.”

Fitz grumbles but joins Mack and his Mum on the couch. He’s pouting still but Mack just looks forward to kissing that pout off his lips later.

Mrs Fitz (call me Elaine, we’re practically family), opened the album and started to natter away, telling stories of Fitz (or Leo, it was weird to hear someone call his boyfriend that) as a kid.

Mack half listened as he soaked in the sight of baby Fitz. Fitz had made a cute baby, all big blue eyes and blonde curls, “my wee angel” as Elaine had said.

The photo albums covered Fitz’s entire childhood and Mack was soon smiling at pictures of three year old Fitz building complicated lego structures (“even as a wee bairn, we knew he was special” she says as she pinches Fitz’s cheek). There’s Fitz on his first day of school looking proud in his grey uniform, the seriousness of the pose slightly ruined by the brown teddy bear he has dangling from his hand (“Angus!” Fitz exclaims delightedly before blushing at Mack’s laugh).

The photos continue but Mack starts to notice something. Fitz is always alone or with his Mum..where are all the other kids, where are the pictures of Fitz and his friends?

Without thinking, he asks “Why are there no pictures of you and your friends? Even the birthday photos are just of you and your Mum.”

Mack tears his eyes away from the photo of Fitz and Elaine at Blackpool pier to see an upset Fitz jump up from the couch and head upstairs. Mack doesn’t know what’s happened and starts to follow but Elaine stops him.

“Give him some time, love”

“I don’t understand? What did I say?”

Elaine looks uncomfortable. She doesn’t want to tell tales behind her sons back but looking at the love and concern on Mack’s face makes up her mind.

“Leo didnae really have any friends. He never fit in,” she said sadly. “When he started at nursery it was obvious that he was special, he was always so much smarter than the other kids. The teachers talked me into skipping him a few years so he was always the youngest in his class…..they called him a freak….I tried to make him happy but there’s only so much a Mum can do. It wasnae until he went to that Academy of yours and met other people like him that he started to have friends.”

Mack sighed. Fitz had said something similar to him once, but he hadn’t realised how lonely his childhood must have been. Looking through the album he could see the toll it must have taken on Fitz. The smiley, carefree four year old morphing into a sullen, serious ten year old who obviously hated getting his picture taken (no change there, Mack thought).

It broke his heart to imagine how Fitz must have felt growing up. For the first time, Mack started to understand just how much SHIELD meant to Fitz and why Ward’s betrayal hit him so much harder than everyone else.

Mack resolved there and then to make sure Fitz knew that he would never be alone again. He turned to Elaine, “Seeing as we’re alone, I have something to ask you.” Mack pulled a black ring box out his pocket, “I want to ask for your blessing. I want to marry your son and I will spend every day of my life trying to make him happy.”


	6. Prompt: Putting together a gift registry for their upcoming wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

“Why do we need bed sheets that cost $40?” Fitz whined.

Mack had thought this evening would be fun.  They were putting together their gift registry for the wedding.  Mack had planned to make a night of it.  He had a nice bottle of wine rather than their usual cold  beers and was now sitting on the sofa with Fitz on his lap, their laptop balanced on Fitz’s own lap.  Except they couldn’t seem to agree on anything.

“Baby”, Mack began in a long suffering tone, “I love you.  But those cheapass sheets you buy? They irritate my skin.  I just want something with a higher thread count that doesn’t bring me out in hives!”

Fitz bit on his lower lip in an effort to keep from arguing.  It’s true that Mack did react badly to Fitz’s nylon bedding, he couldn’t grudge him wanting something a bit better.  Fitz clicked the add to registry button with a barely suppressed wince.

The night continued in that vein until they came to China patterns.

“Nope! No, No, No, No, No! Mack! We do _not_ need a $400 dinner set.”

“But it’s Wedgewood - - ”

“No! We eat most our meals out of takeaway containers, we don’t need this fancy stuff.  I can’t believe how you’re being about this!"  Fitz was angry now.  He had been working up to it all night and now the rage just spilled out.

Mack had no clue what was going on.  "Jesus, Turbo, I don’t see what’s so wrong about wanting us to have nice things for our life together?”

“ _You wouldn’t_ ”, Fitz spat out.

Whoa.  Mack got the feeling that he was missing something big here.  He gently took the laptop from Fitz and set it on the coffee table, turning Fitz around to look at him.  Fitz was red with rage but the scariest thing were the tears threatening to spill from his blue eyes.

“Talk to me.” Mack demanded gently.

Fitz slid off his lap and scooted over to the other side of the couch.  He needed space to get this out.  “You’ve been to my Mum’s house, Mack” he started quietly.  “You’ve saw where I grew up.  My Mum raised me single handed, holding down rubbish jobs to make sure I never wanted for anything.  My family don’t have money.  Not like yours.  It’s bad enough that they’re all having to fork out to fly over here for the wedding. And now you expect them to buy us some stupidly expensive piece of kitchenware when you can get the same bloody thing in Walmart for a fraction of the bloody price?  And she’ll do it, because she’s my Mum and she’s going to think this is what I want.  I just…..I don’t want to cause her any more worries.”

Mack cursed inwardly.  Living on base for most of the past two years, it was easy to forget that not everyone had the money that Mack grew up with. Looking back over the past few hours, Mack realised how horribly he must have come across to Fitz.  He grabs the laptop and deletes their entire registry. _Things_ don’t matter.  The only thing he needs is Fitz. 

Mack pulls Fitz into his arms and resolves to prove that to Fitz every day for the rest of their lives.


	7. Prompt: Fitzmack buying their first house together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

“I still say the flat in town is perfect, it’s two bedrooms, we could use the spare one as a workshop, it’s just down the road from the bakery with the really good apple danishes….” Fitz was seconds away from using the pout, Mack could tell. But Mack wasn’t going to cave this time.

“First off babe, the _apartment_ is nice but it’s too small. I think that the four bed house out near the park is the winner. It’s got all the open space at the back, we could convert the garage into a workshop and that would leave us with three rooms for…future things.”

Skye squealed at that, “Eeee, you two are so cute! I can’t believe you’re actually planning to shack up together. We’re all gonna miss you so much!”

“Yes!”, Jemma agreed. “But we’re thrilled for you both. And Fitz? I agree with Mack. You’ll outgrow the flat soon enough, it’s never too early to start planning for the future.”

“You’re as bad as him,” Fitz groaned as he jabbed an elbow jokingly into Mack’s side, causing Mack to growl and pull him onto his lap. “We’re just moving in together, you know we want to see how that goes before we think about adoption. Skye, stop bloody squealing, you’re hurting my ears. And you,” he pointed at Jemma. “You just want to be an Auntie.”

Jemma smiled, “Absolutely I do, I’m going to be the best Aunt in the world.”

Skye stopped squealing long enough to object to that, “Hey, I think we all know that I will be the coolest Aunt ever. You can’t compete with me, Simmons.”

“What’s all this? Something you want to tell us?” Coulson called out as he and May walked into the room. They had been off base for the past week on a recruitment drive. They look preoccupied and worried but assure everyone that the trip went well and that a briefing meeting has been set up for 1900 this evening.

“So, what have we missed?” Coulson asks, his voice sounding forced, as he settles into a chair after the greetings have been done. “Did I hear something about someone becoming an Aunt?”

“Not quite yet,” Mack answers.  “We were just talking about the properties Fitz and I have been looking at.”

Jemma interrupts Mack, “And Mack and I were trying to convince Fitz that they should go for a house. So that they won’t have to move again when they decide to adopt.”

“And I say that there’s plenty of time for that, the fl– apartment will do just now.” Fitz argues back. He turns to Mack with pleading eyes, “Apple danishes!”

Throughout the whole conversation May and Coulson have been communicating silently, exchanging meaningful glances, faces grim. The others hadn’t noticed but Skye had been trained by the best.

“What is it?” she asked seriously, startling the others out of their good natured bickering.

May sighs as she turns to look at Fitz and Mack. “It can’t happen. You’ll have to cancel your plans to move in together.”

“Hold on a bloody minute here! You can’t keep us from leaving.” Fitz has jumped up, face flushed with anger. “This is a joke, right?”

Coulson stands and attempts to place a calming hand on Fitz’s shoulder but Fitz shrugs him off. He sighs, “Fitz, Mack? Would you please step into my office. We need to tell you something.”

“NO! Whatever you have to say you can say in front of everyone.” Fitz felt Mack press against him, offering him his silent support.

They had drawn a crowd now, Hunter and Bobbi having came in from the gym to see what all the noise was about.

“Fine.” May stood as well. “Ten days ago we intercepted a HYDRA communication. They’ve unearthed a device in the SHIELD archives that has the potential to decimate an entire city in a matter of minutes.”

Everyone else still looks confused as to how this could possibly mean that Fitz and Mack can’t move in together but Jemma draws in a sharp breath “Oh, Fitz.”

Fitz is pale now, the rage having left his body as suddenly as it came. “Destructo?” he murmurs.

Coulson reaches out to comfort him. “I’m afraid so. They’re still missing a vital piece of intel and thankfully haven’t been able to get it to work….But they want it, and so a worldwide HYDRA message went out that priority number one was the capture of the design engineer behind the device. Agent Leopold Fitz.”

“That’s where you’ve been the past week? Trying to stop this?” Skye asked.

May nods. “I’m sorry Fitz but we need to make you disappear. We were going to tell you later tonight. We’ve managed to secure a new identity for you. You have to leave in two days. You can’t take anything with you.” May glances sadly at Mack as she says this.

Fitz whirls to face Mack, “No, you can’t mean…Mack will come with me right?” Fitz turns to May and Coulson, eyes filled with tears. He’s pouting and it kills Mack that he won’t be able to kiss this one away.

Coulson shakes his head sadly. “Fitz,” his voice starts to break, “I’m so so sorry but the intel they’ve circulated has a list of your known associates. They know about your relationship with Mack. You have to go alone.”

Fitz is clinging on to Mack now, tears flowing, chants of “no, no, no” falling from his mouth.

Mack pulls him in tight. He knows what May and Coulson are saying is right. Even if they manage to destroy this device he knows that HYDRA would keep coming for Fitz. He’s on their radar now. They know what he can do, they know what an asset he would be. This is the the only way they can keep him safe. He lifts his head from Fitz’s curls to look at Coulson. He can see that this is killing the Director too. Mack nods at him. He’ll make sure that Fitz is on that plane in two days. He has to.


	8. Continuation of Prompt: Fitzmack buying their first house together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently the last prompt was too sad so I tried to make it better! No specific warnings

Fitz gets on the plane, fighting and screaming the whole way. And then he’s gone.

Living whatever life May and Coulson had made up for him.

Mack, who had put on a brave front for Fitz before he left just crumples as soon as the plane takes off. They all do. It feels so wrong to go on without Fitz.

But then the iron sets in. You think they wanted to stop HYDRA before? It’s nothing compared to their new resolve.

It takes 4 years but HYDRA is finally beaten. As soon as the handcuffs snap into place on the last agent, Mack grabs Phil and demands, “Where is he?”

Cut to the Monkey Sanctuary in Northern India. Fitz is out checking on the macaque monkeys when his radio blares to life, scaring his favourite monkey, Angus, in the process.

He has visitors.

Fitz panics. Is it HYDRA? Have they found him? Is this it? He daren’t even contemplate the other sceanrio, he learned early into his new life that thinking about Mack hurt too much. Not that he ever managed to stop. Mack was still his first and last thought every day.

He didn’t even know if Mack was still alive. But he knew, in his soul, he knew that if Mack was alive then he was waiting still for Fitz. The thought gave Fitz strength in his darkest hours.

As Fitz’s jeep pulls up at the main entrance to the sanctuary his heart stops. For a moment all he can do is stare. He doesn’t believe it. Then he’s stumbling out the vehicle, feet tripping themselves in his haste to touch, to feel Mack.

Fitz launches himself at Mack, legs wrapping around his waist, revelling in the solid comfort of him.

“Definitely a house”


	9. Prompt: Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

Mack saw it happen in slow motion. Fitz was out on the ice, putting the beacon in position and then there was a cracking sound and Mack saw him disappear into the water.

It happened fast, Mack knew. In reality Fitz was there one minute and gone the next but that’s not what he saw. He saw it all happen as if in a dream, the surprise in Fitz’s eyes turning to fear as he realised what had happened. The slow disappearance of Fitz as the water sucked him under.

Time snapped back into place as Mack lurched forward ready to dive in after Fitz. Hunter and Bobbi grabbed him, holding him back.

“Don’t be stupid, man! You’re too heavy.”Hunter yelled. “Look, May’s already gone in after him. She’ll get him. He’ll be ok. Just wait.”

Mack finally stopped fighting and stilled. _May would get him. He’d be ok. May would get him._

They all stood at the edge of the frozen lake, eyes glued to the dark hole in the middle of all that white. The air around them was silent. Mack had never felt so hopeless. Hunter and Bobbi were right, he couldn’t help. None of them could. Fitz and May were the lightest, they were the only ones who’d had any hope of walking out onto the ice.

After what seemed an eternity a gasping May appeared on the surface dragging Fitz up with her. As she pulled him to the edge of the lake, Mack took in the horrifying details.

Fitz’s eyes were closed, little ice crystals clinging to his lashes. His lips were a pale shade of blue. He was so still. May and Bobbi were on their knees administering CPR while Mack just stood there. He couldn’t move, every muscle was locked up in fear. Not Fitz. He can’t lose him.

Suddenly Fitz’s body shuddered and he coughed up a lungful of water. His eyes flickered open. “M-m-m…k” he murmered incoherently.

Mack’s knees buckled in relief. He had never heard anything so beautiful as the sound of Fitz’s voice in that moment. The Bus landed behind them, Hunter having radioed for help while Mack was frozen. Jemma came running out and Fitz was whisked away before Mack could get his limbs working again.

Bobbi and Hunter helped Mack into the Bus where they waited patiently for Jemma’s diagnosis.

“He’s fine. He lost consciousness briefly but May managed to get to him in time that there should be no further damage. He’s sleeping now, his body’s been through an ordeal.” Jemma turned to Mack with sympathetic eyes. “I’ve set up the comfy chair beside his bed, you can wait there for him to wake up.”

Mack nods gratefully. He knows he should be thanking her, thanking May but he just needs to see Fitz.

He makes himself comfortable in the chair, marvelling at how peaceful Fitz looks. He brushes a hand through Fitz’s blond curls before settling in to wait.

* * * * *

Mack blearily blinks awake a few hours later, back protesting at having fallen asleep in a chair.

“Hey sleeping beauty” he hears Fitz smile.

Mack opens his eyes to see Fitz propped up against some pillows, colour returned to his cheeks. He’s swaddled in blankets and sipping from a mug of hot chocolate

“I asked them to bring you some hot chocolate too. For when you woke up. Extra marshmallows, just how you like it.”

Mack can’t help but break out into laughter before gathering Fitz into his arms. “Don’t you ever do that again, Turbo” he murmurs into Fitz’s neck.

“Promise.”


	10. Prompt: Camping/Sleeping Under the Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

“Come on, Fitz – it’ll be romantic.”

“Romantic? ROMANTIC? We’re miles from bloody civilisation, with no way to communicate with the team, no food, no water, it’s going to get really bloody cold and you think it’ll be romantic?!” Fitz yelled, face flushed with anger.

Mack knew not to take it personally. The truth was that this situation could turn bad really quickly.

The mission was supposed to be simple. They were supposed to drive across the desert to retrieve the data collection beacon device they had dropped off here the month before. They had a packed Jeep of supplies to spend the night before the Bus came to pick them up the next morning.

Fitz and Mack had jumped at the chance to spend a night alone together. It definitely beat staying on the Bus with everyone else as they dropped Ward back off in prison. It _should_ have been romantic. They had brought marshmallows, a cosy fleece sleeping bag just bog enough for them to squeeze into and a state of the art tent.

All of which had burned up when the Jeep exploded after going over a cliff. Mack had lost control of the wheel for a second and the next thing he knew the vehicle was heading towards the edge. He had grabbed Fitz and launched them both out the passenger door. Luckily neither of them were badly injured. Mainly scrapes and bruises, they could both still walk which would do them no good seeing as they had no map or any idea really of how far they were from the collection point.

Their best bet was to wait near the wreck of the Jeep and hope that the Team found them the next day.

Mack had tried for Fitz’s sake to put a positive spin on it but realistically he knew that a night in the desert with only the clothes on their backs would not be pleasant.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Fitz murmured as he folded himself into Mack’s arms, pulling his boyfriend close. “I’m just scared.”

Mack dropped a kiss on Fitz’s curls as he hugged him tightly. “I know, Turbo. Me too. But the Team will come looking for us when we’re not where we’re supposed to be tomorrow. It’s just one night. We’ll be fine.”

* * * *

“The stars are really pretty out here.” Fitz whispered.

Mack smiled down at his boyfriend , the two men wrapped up in each other in an effort to keep warm now that the sun had gone down. They had searched for something to make a fire with but had come up empty handed.

“See, it’s not so bad is it?”

* * * *

The team found them around noon the next day. Banged up, dehydrated and suffering from heat exhaustion but ultimately fine.

Although camping was definitely struck from their list of romantic activities for the forseeable future.


	11. Prompt: DIY Spa day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

“Fitz? What are you doing?” Jemma’s voice was gentle, dripping with concern. That’s the way everyone spoke to him these days.

“I’m looking after his cuticles. Mack always takes such good care of his hands. He wouldn’t want to see them looking like this.” Fitz smiled up at Mack.

Mack didn’t smile back. He didn’t move much at all these days. Catatonic was the term all the doctors used. Apparently the trauma of whatever happened to him in that underground city had caused him to retreat into his mind.

He could still do some things. If you put a forkful of food in front of his mouth he would eat, if you brought a glass to his mouth he would swallow.

They had tried to move him to a psychiatric unit but Fitz had broken down. He pleaded with Coulson. Please let Mack stay here. He promised to look after him. Mack needed to be here, surrounded by people who loved him. How else would he know it was OK to come back to himself?

Jemma’s heart broke as she watched Fitz lovingly care for Mack’s cuticles.

“You know, his facial hair could do with a trim. Would you like me to help you with that?”

Fitz smiled greatfully at her. “Thank you.”

He turned back to his still boyfriend, placing a loving kiss against his strong hand. “We’ll make sure you look your best for when you wake up.”

Jemma turned to get the clippers, tears rolling down her cheeks.

_Please wake up, please. For Fitz’s sake._


	12. Prompt: Cooking Dinner Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hints of violence

“What about pork? You can make that glaze again, have it with some rice?” Mack called as he walked into the kitchen. “I can even be persuaded to use my Gamma’s spiced rice recipe…”

Mack trailed off as he caught sight of Fitz in the kitchen. His boyfriend was pale, shaken and sporting a horrific black eye. “What the - -.” Mack broke off and started yelling at the kitchen “What did you do to him, you bastards?”

“Mack, Mack, no. Please stop. You’ll only make it worse. They’ll already be coming for you….I…I was stupid today. I didn’t want to do what they asked..I’m sorry.” Fitz was sobbing now, frantic, knowing that any moment the HYDRA agents would come bursting into “their” house to take their punishment of Fitz from Mack.

This was their life now. HYDRA had captured Fitz four months ago and when the brainwashing hadn’t worked on Fitz (the one thing he should probably thank Ward for) they found another way to control him.

Mack.

Fitz had wept tears of relief when he first saw Mack in the HYDRA compound he was now forced to work in. He’d thought he was being rescued. No. Instead, HYDRA had set them up in their own house where they were allowed to play happy families. Until Fitz screwed up. Anytime Fitz hesitated or any time his superiors felt like he was holding back, they came. They came and took Mack.

Just like they were going to do tonight.

It’s not until the next morning that Mack returns. Fitz hadn’t slept, his mind turning circles imagining what they were doing to Mack. Fitz is waiting on the front steps. The van drives by and a barely conscious Mack is pushed out the door.

Fitz can tell from the swollen cheeks that they went for his teeth this time. It’s a measure of how fucked up their life is now that his first thought is “it could have been worse.”

He gets a more coherent Mack settled on “their” bed.

“I…I have to go to work. I’ll be good today. I’m sorry.”

Mack reaches out and squeezes his hand. There’s no blame in his eyes as he asks, mouth struggling to form words “Pork tonight?”

“Yeah.” Fitz blinks tears away as he heads out. He’s going to get Mack out of here. If it’s the last thing he does.


	13. Prompt: Going to a Museum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Character Death

Mack couldn’t help but laugh at his boyfriends glee.

“Stop laughing!” Fitz smiled. “I’m just excited. We’re getting to do the whole misson-impossible-drop-from-the-musuem-skylight-on-wires thing. It’s brilliant!”.

Mack pulled an excited Fitz in for a quick kiss before triple checking his harness. He was enjoying seeing the excited puppy dog side of Fitz but his mind couldn’t help flashing back to when he had last worn a similar harness.

“Please be careful”, he whispered.

Fitz hugged him close. “It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. There’s no unknown this time, just an alarm system. I’ll disable it and then you pull me back up and we go wait on the bus while everybody else does the hard bit.”

With one final kiss, Fitz gets into position.

Mack lowers him down, stifling a laugh as Fitz starts to hum the Mission Impossible theme tune.

Fitz tugs the line to let Mack know he’s where he needs to be and Mack stops the cable wire. From their prep meeting he knows that Fitz needs at least 90 seconds to bypass the alarm so Mack keeps his eye on their perimeter as he counts down.

75 seconds in and there’s a crashing noise from below. Mack scrambles to the skylight, panicked. The cable line is jerking and Mack doesn’t hesitate to start reeling Fitz up. Screw the mission. His priority will always be Fitz. Coulson can chew him out later, he doesn’t care.

There’s resistance on the line but eventually he sees Fitz’s curls rise from the shadows below. “Jesus, Turbo, what the hell…” Mack trails off as he takes it in. Fitz’s eyes are wild, his mouth working silently as bubbles of blood pour from his mouth.

His throat is splashed in red. So much red. Mack is screaming for help, pulling Fitz onto the roof and trying desperately to stem the flow of blood. He knows it’s too late. Fitz’s throat has been sliced too deep.

Fitz knows it’s too late. He can’t speak but he grabs hold of Mack’s arms, squeezing as hard as he can, trying to offer Mack some comfort until his hands go limp.

Mack roars in grief. This was Coulson’s fault. Coulson will pay for this…..


	14. Prompt: Painting a room together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings - this is set in the same 'verse as Chapter 12 (prompt: cooking dinner together)

Fitz stared in disbelief as Mack calmly flicked through the book of paint samples.

“What are you doing? How can you just sit there and pick out colours for our jail cell? Because that’s what this is, Mack. It’s not a bloody home where we get to live out our domestic fantasies, it’s a prison. Did you not hear them say that you were their insurance? That they’re only letting us have this because as soon as I step out of line they’ll use you to shove me back?”

Fitz was yelling now, all the frustration, anger and fear of his time in HYDRA pouring out.

“I can’t be responsible for hurting you. I won’t. We need to find a way out of here. I can’t…this is the worst thing they could do.” Fitz tears the stupid paint sampler out of Mack’s hand and drops himself into Mack’s lap, finally letting himself take the comfort he’s so desperately needed since he saw Mack in this godforsaken place.

Mack pulls him in close, letting Fitz bury his face into Mack’s neck.

“First off”, Mack begins, his deep voice vibrating around Fitz in a way that Fitz has missed. “If I do get hurt, it’s not you that’s responsible, it’s them. They’ll be the ones hurting me. Not you.”

Fitz whimpers at the blasé way Mack has just seemed to accept that he’ll get hurt.

“Second, I’m not stupid Turbo. I know what this place is. But until we figure a way out that doesn’t get you killed we may as well make the most of it. And that means getting rid of these purple walls.”

Fitz almost chuckles at the disgust evident in Mack’s voice. But he needs to make one thing clear. “Us”, he says insistently against Mack’s neck.

“What was that?”

Fitz reluctantly pulls back from Mack. “Until we figure out a way that doesn’t get _us_ killed.”

“Yeah, us.”

They sit like that for a long time, just wrapped up in each other. Fitz is almost content.

That’s why this is the worst thing that HYDRA could possibly have done. Because, _this_? This is everything Fitz had ever wanted. A home with Mack. He didn’t want to give in. Nothing else had managed to break him. Not the brainwashing machine, not the torture.

It wouldn’t be breaking to change the wall colour though, right? That purple was bloody horrible.

Fitz picks the sampler book back up and turns to the blues. “I like blue.”

_It’s just painting a room together, it doesn’t mean HYDRA are winning_


	15. Prompt: First Christmas Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings: set in the same 'verse as Chapters 12 and 14

Jemma was hugging him. She was crying and saying how much they had missed him. How glad they were that he and Mack were home safe. And just in time for Christmas.

_Home_. Fitz wanted to scoff at that.

Fitz looked around the playground taking in the dank brick walls and the lack of natural light. This wasn’t his home. Not anymore.

He couldn’t help but yearn for his own home. Their own home. With the light blue walls, the french windows, the little rose garden in the back. The Christmas tree that they had cut down themselves and decorated together. The presents that they had made for each other were probably still sitting wrapped, unopened underneath the tree.

_They’d never be opened now_ , he supposed.

He knows he should be glad to be back. To be away from HYDRA, away from the constant threat that was always hanging over them. But he’s not. He feels awful about it, but he’s not happy to be back.

They had built a life together over the past ten months. Ten, long months. It had been hard at first, sure, but for the past six of those months the HYDRA officers hadn’t ever needed to keep Fitz in line. Eventually Fitz had realised that there was no going back from the things that HYDRA had made him do. He couldn’t come back from the atrocities committed with his tech. So he’d surrendered.

_He’d broken_.

If you call living a happy life with the man you love breaking, that is.

Fitz had been content.

And then suddenly they’re back with SHIELD. Suddenly he’s surrounded by the people he once considered family and all he can think is “ _I want to go back_.”

Simmons can tell something’s wrong. _It’ll be shock_ , she thinks.

“Let’s get you back to your room. You can rest”, she says as she guides him. He wants to go with Mack but Mack is being led to his own room by Bobbi.

His eyes lock with Mack’s as Jemma starts to pull him away. Mack looks broken now in a way that he never had during their time with HYDRA. Fitz understands.

This was supposed to be their first Christmas together.

 SHIELD have taken that away from them.

 


	16. Prompt: Going to see a show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Character Death

Inhumans, aliens, gods. Mack had always been a little scared of them. Doing the work they do, he was convinced that they would be his downfall.

It’s almost a relief to know that it’s going to be at the hands of a human. Or it would be. If Fitz wasn’t in the same position.

Coulsons latest nemesis was an insane ex-SHIELD agent who, as Fitz put it, had read too many Batman comics. The guy had certainly set up a show for Coulson that would have made the Joker proud.

Agent Crazy had explained the plan to them as he set them up like props on the stage. Mack and Fitz were each placed in a vertical chamber, one on either side of the stage, facing each other.

The chambers were set to release a fast acting nerve toxin at the press of a button. Agent Crazy’s plan was for Coulson to come alone, then armed with a crowbar and a vial of anti-toxin he would have to make the decision about which of them to break free. There would only be time to save one of them.

Mack held no illusions about his chances here. Coulson would save Fitz. Of course he would. Fitz was an original member of the team and still had one of the sharpest minds, despite the extra work it took to make himself understood. Fitz was family. And Mack? Mack just repaired the cars.

Mack had accepted his fate. If he had to die so that Fitz could live then that was fine with him. He couldn’t imagine having to watch Fitz bleed out and choke while he was rescued. That wasn’t an option.

“Show Time!”

Mack couldn’t see much beyond the stage due to the spotlights shining on them. The sound of voices was muffled through the thick walls of the chamber. He didn’t see the point in concentrating on them. If he was about to die then he wanted to spend his last minutes looking at Fitz.

Fitz was staring back at him, tears in his gorgeous blue eyes. Mack wished that he could have told Fitz how he felt about him before this. He knew Fitz couldn’t hear him now but he needed to do something.

Mack pointed at Fitz then moved his arm so that his hand covered his heart. He pointed at Fitz again and smiled sadly. Fitz was crying now as he banged his fists uselessly against his own chamber. He repeated the gesture back to Mack and smiled through the tears.

It was the most beautiful smile Mack had ever seen.

A muffled clatter sounded from the stage. The crowbar. That meant it was coming.

Mack stood tall, he was going to face this with courage. He was going to die for the man he loved. He managed to quickly mouth “I love you” to Fitz before the toxin started to pour into the chamber.

The pain was unlike anything Mack had felt. He wanted to keep his eyes open, he had to see Coulson rescue Fitz. But his eyes were stinging, blood vessels bursting as the toxin circled him mercilessly. He shut his eyes to the world as the blackness threatened to pull him under.

Suddenly he was being pulled from the chamber, a needle jammed into his arm.

No. This wasn’t right.

He fought to open his eyes. He saw Coulson kneeling next to him, head hung in sorrow.

He didn’t want to look over to Fitz’s chamber but he had to see. He had to know.

He shouldn’t have looked.

Mack roared in grief. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He grabbed the crowbar from where it lay at Coulsons feet and started attacking the chamber. He pulled Fitz’s body free and cradled him gently.

“It’s what Fitz would have wanted” he heard Coulson whisper brokenly.

Fitz had died with a smile on his face.


	17. Prompt: Knitting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

“Knit one, purl one…aaaargh”

Mack chuckled as he watched Fitz throw the knitting needles down in disgust.

“I’m never gonna get the hang of this!” Fitz whined as he burrowed under the covers on his side of the bed, the knitted monstrosity he was working on falling to the floor.

“You do realise that you don’t need to learn to knit? We have a whole wardrobe of baby clothes ready for him, we don’t need any more.” Mack took the opportunity to put down his book and spoon up against his husband. This was the first night in a week he wouldn’t have to fall asleep to the sound of those damn needles clacking together.

Fitz nuzzled his body back into Mack’s embrace, revelling in the feel of solid muscle behind him. “I know”, he murmured contentedly, “I jus’ wanted to have somethin’ for him that he could keep forever knowing that his Daddy made it for him.”

“His Papa, you mean” Mack corrected with a poke in Fitz’s back.

Fitz gave a long suffering sigh, this argument had been going on for the past six months. “Face it Mack, you lost at Rock Paper Scissors nine times in a row. I’m Daddy, you’re Papa.”

“You say that now Turbo, just wait until his first word is Papa, then you’ll be changing your tune.”

“Rubbish! His first word is gonna be biomechanical.” Fitz grinned.

They fell asleep smiling that night.

*  
They’d been on the adoption list for three years before someone picked them to be parents.

Mary was a 19 year old college student and the day she told them that she wanted her baby to be adopted by them was the happiest day of their life.

Up until the day they would get to meet him, that is.

The phone call that Mary had gone into labour came at 4 in the morning. Fitz and Mack were both already off on paternity leave. They’d left SHIELD as soon as Mary had picked them. Mack still helped maintain the fleet but he did it as an outside contractor now. Fitz was consulting for Tony and Tony was so glad to have him that he let Fitz do pretty much whatever he liked.

Just because they no longer worked for SHIELD didn’t mean that SHIELD wasn’t still family though. Jemma, Skye, Bobbi and Hunter had all joined them in the hospital where they waited to meet their son for the first time.

It was a long wait and Mack busied himself winding wool while Fitz continued to clack away with those bloody knitting needles, determined to finish the cardigan before baby Fitz-Mackenzie arrived.

Finally someone came to see them. Fitz and Mack jumped up as Mary’s Mom walked into the room.

“Is it done? Can we see him?” Fitz is doing his eager puppy dog impression, making Mack laugh.

His laughter doesn’t last long.

“I’m sorry. Mary’s changed her mind. She’s decided to keep the baby.”

Fitz’s mind blanks out at that. Through the shock of static buzzing in his ears he thinks he hears Mack yelling. How she can’t do that, how they had a contract, how it wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair.

Fitz walks back to the seating area, leaving Mack to rage. He sees the cardigan lying on the ground where it had fallen in his excitement of just moments ago. He bent to pick it up. He never did manage to finish it. He calmly walked over to the bin and dumped the whole thing in.

What reason did he have to learn to knit now?


	18. Prompt: Makeovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

The front door opened and Fitz heard the pitter of Maggie’s little feet running towards him.

“Papa!” She squealed as Fitz lifted her up to smother her in kisses. “Look at how pretty I am! Auntie Bobbi helpeded me.”

“You’re always pretty, munchkin” Fitz smiled as he dutifully set Maggie down to look at how pretty she was. Although now that he was looking at her closely he could see that her caramel skin looked that bit more luminous today and her warm brown eyes did seem to be standing out a bit more. Was that…did Bobbi seriously put make up on his four year old daughter?

“You look very pretty sweetheart. I could eat you all up! Why don’t you go find Angus? He’s missed you all day.”

A giggling Maggie skipped off in search of their dog.

Now that his daughter was gone, Fitz turned to glare at Bobbi.

“Make-up?” he hissed. “Don’t you think she’s a bit young for that?”

Bobbi stepped back, hands up in the air. “Jesus, Fitz, it was just some makeover girls fun. It’s harmless. She wanted to look pretty.”

“She _is_ pretty, Bobbi. She’s the most gorgeous damn four year old in the world and I don’t want her thinking she needs make up to be pretty. You shouldn’t be encouraging that attitude at such a young age.” Fitz was working himself up into a rage now. He was right about this, goddamnit.

“Hey!” Fitz was not the only one getting worked up as evidenced by Bobbi’s sudden volume increase. “I know _exactly_ how pretty Maggie is, ok? If my daughter wants to try make up then I don’t see what business it is of yours!”

Both Fitz and Bobbi were pale and shaken at that comment.

“Fitz, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean -”

“I know. It’s fine. I’m gonna go and finish dinner. Mack’s out back if you want to say hi.” Fitz fled from the room.

He shouldn’t take it personally. He knows that Bobbi and Hunter are going through a tough time. The truth is that Bobbi has been amazing for the past four years. She’d remained a big part of Maggie’s life, godmother, favourite Auntie, while _always_ deferring to Fitz and Mack when it came to decisions.

This was the only time she had ever insinuated that Fitz shouldn’t have a say in Maggie’s life. It shouldn’t effect him so much, he knows she didn’t mean it, that it was said in reflex, Bobbi’s agent instincts going for the one thing that would incapacitate him…it’s just that he can’t help but think these things himself.

Maggie was so beautiful, the perfect little hybrid of Mack and Bobbi. She was Fitz’s world but he lived in terror of being pushed out.

Fitz found himself standing outside Maggie’s room watching her play with Angus. He looked at the walls where Maggie’s drawings were plastered up over the my little pony wallpaper. He smiled as he saw a new one that she must have done this weekend.

Maggie saw him looking at it and came running over. “Do you like it Papa? I was trynna design a robot monkey that could help with cleaning my room!”

Fitz choked down a sob at that. He was an idiot.

“It’s brilliant, Mags.”


	19. Prompt: Pet Adoption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

Coulson was raging. Yelling about how that damn tesseract should have been destroyed. It was supposed to have been in safe hands. 

May was trying to calm Coulson down. Saying how no-one could have predicted this. They would fix this.

Hunter was drinking. Knocking back shots of the hard stuff. This couldn’t be happening.

Skye was sedated. Her control was no match for this situation. They’d been too late to save him.

Jemma was pacing. Frantically searching through the scans in an effort to find something new. This couldn’t be permanent.

Bobbi was trying to offer comfort. She couldn’t imagine what he was going through. It was too hard to accept.

Mack was heartbroken. The tesseract had destroyed him completely. This shell in front of him wasn’t Fitz.

Fitz waited patiently. His Master would tell him what to do soon. After all, he was just a pet now.


	20. Prompt: Boyfriend Sweaters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

Running was the right thing to do.  Skye wasn’t safe in SHIELD.  Fitz did the only thing he _could_ do when he ran with her.  He needed to keep her safe. 

That was the party line.  That’s what he whispered to Skye as he comforted her in the middle of the night, talking her down from a nightmare that had caused the doubt and fear to come trickling in.

It’s true.  It’s working.  Skye, now that she’s out of the hostile, distrusting environment SHIELD had become, is flourishing.  Her new powers are under control.  She’s safe.  SHIELD will never find them.  Skye can live her life free from constant observation and experimentation. 

It _was_ the only thing that Fitz could do.

That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt to do it.  That doesn’t mean it didn’t take absolutely everything in Fitz to turn his back on SHIELD.  On his friends. On his family.

On Mack.

It had been dawn when they left.  They couldn’t take anything with them except the clothes on their back.  In the panic and adrenaline of the escape he didn’t think Skye had ever noticed that the sweater he was wearing was about a million times too big for him.  Or maybe she had but knew that drawing attention to it was pointless.

It’s all he has left of Mack now.  A sweater that Mack had left in Fitz’s room the day before they left. 

It’s become a safety blanket of sorts for Fitz.  He spent the first few nights of their new life with his face buried in the top, surrounding himself with the heavy, grease stained smell of Mack. 

It doesn’t smell of Mack anymore.  He can’t get that same comfort from it now.  But he can’t throw it out.  He needs it.  Some days are harder than others and on those hard days it’s all he can do not to go tearing back to Mack.  Maybe he didn’t try hard enough to convince them before.  Maybe now they see the progress that Skye has made they’ll be more willing to listen…  But then he remembers.  And he knows that he can’t take the risk with Skye’s life.  On those days he curls up on his single bed with the sweater wrapped around him like a blanket, the sleeves crossed over his chest. 

If he concentrates hard enough it’s almost like Mack is wrapped around him.

Running was the right thing to do.  Skye wasn’t safe in SHIELD.  Fitz did the only thing he _could_ do when he ran with her.  He needed to keep her safe. 

It’s his mantra. 

There’s no going back.

No matter how much he may want to.


	21. Prompt: Clothes Shopping (which turned into a Pretty Woman AU - sorry!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

Fitz walked down Rodeo Drive trying desperately to ignore the looks he was getting. He knew he looked out of place here, his skin tight jeans and tatty white vest screaming that he would be more at home on the late night streets in the shadier side of town.

Unsurprisingly, that’s just where Mack had found him last night.

The previous evening had started like any other with Fitz standing on his usual street corner hoping that the next guy to come along would at least have some basic standard of personal hygiene. Then a vintage Rolls Royce had pulled up, window rolling down to reveal the hottest man Fitz had ever seen.

He wasn’t supposed to leave with his clients, the motel down the block was the go to if some big shot felt that the alley was too beneath them, but there was something in those warm brown eyes that had made Fitz jump in the car.

What had followed was some of the best sex that Fitz had ever had. He’d never been lucky enough to be with someone he found attractive. He hadn’t known it could be like that. It was everything he had imagined it would be when he was still a kid. When he still believed in good things.

So when Mack asked him to stay for the week Fitz agreed before even hearing the ridiculous amount of money Mack was willing to pay.

So, Fitz is walking down Rodeo Drive with a pocketful of cash and instructions to buy some more conservative outfits.

He walks into the first menswear store he sees, already shrinking under the disdainful gazes of the intimidating shop assistants.

He’s eyeing the rows of beige cardigans when one of the whispering assistants approaches him.

“Are you lost?”

“Um, no, I, I’m looking to buy some clothes. Something more conservative?” Fitz blushes as the shop assistant blatantly gives his current outfit a sneer and scoffs.

“Hmm, well, I think there’s a Target on the other side of the highway. That might be more your speed.”

The cardigan that Fitz had been examining is ripped out his hand as the shop assistant eyes the door pointedly.

Humiliated, Fitz leaves the store with his head held down.

Fuck, how’s he going to explain this to Mack? What if Mack decides that he doesn’t want him for the week anymore if he can’t even do this one simple thing?

Fitz doesn’t know if he can go back to his usual hook ups now that he knows what it can be like - what it should be like.

He blinks back tears as he heads back to the hotel to face Mack.

Just this once he had wanted the fairytale.


	22. Prompt: Coffee Shop Meet Cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

Fitz enjoys his work.  He likes the bustle of rush hour when he’s rushed off his feet taking orders and making drinks.  He likes when it’s quiet and he can sit at the counter with a novel or chat with the regulars. 

He definitely likes it when cute guys sit at a table and can’t keep their eyes off him. 

He had walked in to start his shift half an hour ago and couldn’t help but notice the way the gorgeous customer in the corner table had gaped at him.  He gives himself a mental high five for wearing his pulling jeans today and may make a point to put an extra wiggle into his walk as he strides behind the counter.

The customer is gorgeous.  He must be at least 6'4" and so broad that Fitz almost burns himself twice lost in the daydream of climbing him like a tree. 

He works for half an hour, feeling the weight of those incredible brown eyes on him the whole time.

His colleague rolls his eyes as the customer finally musters the courage to approach the counter and whispers that Fitz should definitely take this one.

Putting on his best smile, Fitz approaches the customer and asks for his order.

The guy frowns a bit at that and Fitz smirks.  Did he really think that Fitz was going to immediately launch into the flirting just because brown eyes had stared at him for half an hour?  Fitz likes to make them work a bit harder than that.

Brown eyes orders a plain black coffee which Fitz definitely approves of.  He widens his smile as he asks for a name to put on the order.

A broken sob escapes Brown Eyes at that.  “Fitz…” he pleads.  “Please.  I’ve spent the past 18 months looking for you.  I’m not in the mood for games.  Please, Turbo.  Just…please….”

Fitz pales.  

It’s actually happened. 

16 months ago, Fitz had woken up in a hospital bed with no memory of who he was, how he got there, nothing about the past 26 years of his life beyond his name.

He’d worked hard to build something for himself out of the wreckage.  The doctors held hope that his memory would return but after a year of waiting for a breakthrough, of waiting for someone to find him, Fitz had resigned himself to making the best of his life now.

Brown Eyes is obviously someone from his past.  Fitz can’t help but feel guilty at the look of utter heartbreak in those eyes.  He’d hoped for so long that someone would come for him, would give him all the answers but looking into those eyes he now wishes that he had never been found.

The love in those eyes scares him.  He’s not even sure that he’s the same Fitz this guy knew.  He can’t bear the thought of disappointing anyone.

Fitz turns to his colleague and asks him to cover for him while he takes a break.

He turns to Brown Eyes and draws in a breath.

“We should talk.”


	23. Prompt: Making chicken noodle soup for your sick partner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings

Mack hated it when people got sick.  He always felt so useless, unable to do anything but stand there and watch.  It was worse when it was someone you cared about.

Fitz definitely fell into that category.  Mack hadn’t intended to get close to any of Coulson’s people on this mission, that wasn’t what he was here for, but from the moment that he met Fitz he was hooked.

He’d been curious about him at first.  Confused at the way Coulson’s team treated Fitz like he was broken.  Everyone spent so much time talking about this guy that he used to be and no one seemed to be attempting to get to know the man he was now.

Mack could see the toll it was taking on Fitz.  How he retreated into himself, shying away from others and mumbling to himself.  Mack reached out before he could even think to tell himself not to.

It had quickly become clear to Mack that the others were losing out.  He never knew the “other” Fitz but this Fitz, his Fitz, was incredible.  Mack watched as Fitz battled each day against his trauma, watched as he slowly started to make progress.  He still had bad days, days when he was so frustrated that he lashed out, usually at himself, but Mack was there for him.  Mack wanted to be there for him.

Before he knew it, Mack was head over heels.

Which would explain why he’s currently making chicken and stars. 

It’s stupid, he knows.   Soup isn’t going to make Fitz well.  Mack just hopes it makes Fitz feel better.  He hopes it lets him know that Mack is still thinking about him.

They’d kissed.  Just once. 

It had been everything.  Mack had kissed a lot of people in his 40+ years but he’d never had his mouth fit so perfectly against anyone else. 

Then Fitz had fallen ill.  Mack didn’t pretend to understand the science babble that was going on but he could tell it was bad.  Some alien virus.  Fitz said he wasn’t worried, said that he trusted his team to fix him. 

Mack had a feeling that he wasn’t the only one being kept in the dark about how serious this was. Or maybe Fitz was just trying to protect him.

They’d moved him into quarantine as soon as they saw his blood work.  Mack had only been able to communicate with him through a glass window for days now.

He can’t give the Fitz the physical comfort he needs.  So, chicken and stars it is.

He pours the soup into a thermos and heads down into the quarantine room.   Fitz is sitting listlessly on the bed as Mack comes down the stairs but pulls on a smile when he sees he has company.

Jesus, he looks worse than yesterday.

Mack plasters on his own smile as he greets his could have been boyfriend.  Fitz makes happy noises at the soup, assuring Mack that it’s delicious.

Mack isn’t fooled though, he can see that Fitz is barely eating any of it, the virus having zapped him of his appetite.

They sit in front of each other, separared by the glass.  The smiles slip eventually and Fitz lays his hand against the glass.  Mack swallows a lump as he touches his hand to Fitz’s.  He would give anything to actually touch Fitz right now.  Fitz’s eyes are growing tired so Mack leaves him to sleep.

Fitz falls into a coma overnight.

Mack had never meant to get close to anyone.  Maybe his mission will be easier now.


	24. Prompt: Carving Jack O'Lanterns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of torture

Sometimes Fitz thinks it would be better if he left.

He didn’t have anywhere to go but anything would be better than living like this. 

Walking around like a ghost. 

No-one could bear to look directly at him. He didn’t mind that so much. It was better than the alternative, watching as his friends flinched at the sight of him.

It’s funny, he’d just been getting used to the way Ward had broken his mind. Then Ward had returned to take something else from him. 

One minute he and Mack had been laughing in the sunshine and the next they were screaming in the dank. 

_Oh look, Fitz has gone and got himself a boyfriend, how sweet. He’s obviously not with you for your brain, I took care of that didn’t I? It must be your cute little face. Well, I can take that away from you too._

Fitz hadn’t realised that part of him still wanted to believe Ward was still on their side. That the pod being dumped into the ocean was Ward trying to give them a chance. Not until that hope disappeared in a wave of agony as Ward started with his knives, carving him like a pumpkin.

Fitz doesn’t remember much of what happened next. They tell him that Ward only had them for four hours. Four hours. You can’t even watch the Lord of the Rings in that much time but it was more than enough to destroy Fitz’s face.

He dreams of it sometimes. The static buzz of white hot pain, choking on his own blood as the knife carved into his mouth, slicing chunks of flesh as it went. In these dreams he can even hear the howls of fury and helpless sobs coming from Mack.

You’d think he’d hate the dreams, but sometimes reliving the terror and pain is worth it just to hear Mack again.

Fitz doesn’t know what Ward did to Mack. Jemma tried to explain his injuries but all Fitz heard was that he might not wake up. 

It’s been four months. The doctors marvel at how well Fitz’s face has healed. 

_Healed. That’s a joke._

Fitz knows what he looks like. He had forced himself to look at his face in the mirror when the stitches came out, forced himself to accept what he’s become.

He looks like a monster. 

That’s another reason he stays. There’s no place for someone who looks like him out in the real world.

At least he’s left alone here. The other agents may whisper and stare but at least no one is screaming. 

And he can spend time with Mack. 

*

It starts like a normal day. He showers, spends twenty minutes forcing himself to stare into the mirror and then eats in his room.

He’s got a new book to read to Mack today.

As he travels the corridors to the medical base where Jemma is working tirelessly to fix Mack, he freezes.

He can hear Jemma using her stern doctor voice (Fitz is far too familiar with it these days) as she tries to calm someone. As she tries to calm Mack. A panicked Mack who is yelling for Fitz.

For the first time in months Fitz doesn’t think about his scars. Everything pales in his desperate need to be with Mack, to see him, to touch him. 

He runs, slippered feet sliding on the floors as he crashes into the familiar medical room. 

Mack sees him immediately and starts to sob in great big heaves.

Fitz tries to retreat into the shadows of the corridor. He’d forgotten about his face. How could he have let Mack see him like this? He’s about to tailspin into despair when Mack sobs his name.

“Fitz. Oh my God, you’re OK. I though he’d killed you. I thought you were dead. There was so much blood…..You’re OK.”

Mack is laughing now, a joyful sound. 

Fitz walks closer, pulled in against his will by the emotion pouring out of Mack.

Mack sweeps him into his arms.

“I thought I’d lost you. I’m never letting you out of my sight again.“

Fitz tries to tug away, to hide his face.

“No. Turbo. You’re beautiful.”

As Mack lays a gentle kiss against the twisted flesh of his cheek, Fitz melts, finally allowing himself the comfort he has craved for the past four months.

He can hear Jemma crying softly in the background as the rest of the team filter into the room, but he pays them no attention.

He fills himself with Mack.

Ward couldn’t take everything from him.


	25. Prompt: Going to a car show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of the 'verse from Chapter 24

It’s been six months since Mack woke from his coma. Ten months since Ward had captured him and Fitz. 

Mack can still remember the utter joy and relief he felt when he awoke to find that Fitz was alive. Watching Ward break Fitz apart had been the single worst experience of Mack’s life. Finding out that Fitz had survived had been the single best.

Mack doesn’t care about the scars. He wishes Fitz didn’t have to suffer them, of course. He wishes Fitz still had sight in both his eyes, he wishes that the simple act of smiling didn’t cause Fitz so much pain but the scars don’t affect how Mack feels about Fitz.

He only wishes that the scars didn’t affect how Fitz feels about himself.

Ten months since this had happened. Ten months since Fitz had left the safety of the Base.

Mack has tried to be patient. He’s tried to prove to Fitz that nothing has changed. 

It’s not working.

Everything has changed.

Before Ward, they had been talking about a future. Retiring from S.H.I.E.L.D, travelling for the fun of it, adopting a couple of kids. Now just the hint of these things sends Fitz running for the dark corners that Mack tries so hard to keep him out of.

It’s killing Mack to see him like this. It’s killing Mack to live like this. 

Something has to change. He’s not asking for things to get better overnight. He’s not that naïve, but he _needs_ to see some progress being made. Mack can’t live in the shadows for the rest of his life.

Today is important to Mack. One of his latest restorations is being shown at a specialist car show. He wants Fitz with him. He begs with Fitz to come.

_Please Turbo. No one will be looking at the people there, they’ll all be staring at the cars. You can wear that stupid baseball cap, you can put sunglasses on. No one will care. Please._

Mack is going to the show alone. He hasn’t pushed. He hasn’t resorted to ultimatums. He doesn’t know how long that can last.

Mack can’t live like this. Something needs to change.


	26. Prompt: Body Worship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of the 'verse in Chapters 24 and 25

Tonight they were trying to move forward.

Mack drinks in the sight of Fitz splayed out on the bedspread, pale skin trembling with nerves.

Mack runs a calming hand down Fitz’s legs.

“Baby, if this is too much we can stop. I can turn the lights off.”

Fitz shakes his head.

“No. I want to. I need to.”

Mack presses a tender kiss to Fitz’s knee.

“OK baby. But if - - “

Fitz cuts him off with a whine and a thrust of the hips. Mack has to bite back a moan as he wraps a firm hand around the base of his cock. It’s been so long since he’s _seen_ Fitz. He’s on a hair trigger but he can’t mess this up. This needs to go perfectly.

Mack starts gently, massaging Fitz’s calf as he raises Fitz’s right leg. He brushes his fingers across the sensitive spot on the back of Fitz’s knee just to hear him gasp.

Mack loses himself in worshipping Fitz’s body in a way that he hasn’t been able to in almost a year. A year filled with quick fumbles in the dark with Fitz getting Mack off and then rolling away from Mack’s touch.

He finishes with Fitz’s legs, leaving the skin on his inner thighs red with bite marks and beard burn. 

He nibbles his way up Fitz’s happy trail and grazes his teeth over the soft flesh of Fitz’s stomach on his way up to Fitz’s pebbled nipples.

Fitz arches into Mack’s touch as Mack slowly takes him apart. God he’s missed seeing Fitz like this. The way Fitz’s limbs flop as he surrenders himself to Mack’s attention.

Mack keeps moving up.

He’s biting at Fitz’s collar bone now as Fitz writhes underneath him, lost to the pleasure. 

It’s not until he gets to Fitz’s neck that the tension starts to bleed slowly back into Fitz.

Fitz’s neck is unmarked by the knife, a delicious pale expanse of skin for Mack to lave with his tongue. It’s not the touching of his neck that has Fitz stiffening up. It’s what comes next.

Mack is pressing open mouthed kisses on the spot underneath what remains of Fitz’s left ear. 

He moves to lay a gentle kiss to Fitz’s cheek, before laying kisses along the scar that runs from Fitz’s temple, through his clouded eye, down to Fitz’s jaw.

Mack moves his lips to lick at Fitz’s mouth, tracing the scar tissue at the corner of Fitz’s lips. 

Mack pulls away at the first sob.

He doesn’t push. He will never push. 

But Fitz pulls him back, mouth latching on as he licks his way into Mack’s mouth.

The kiss is a mess. They’re both crying, the salt of their tears mixing with their saliva as they grab desperately at each other.

It’s the best kiss Mack has ever had.

Things are starting to change.


	27. Prompt: Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final part of the 'verse started in Chapter 24

It’s a beautiful day for a picnic.

To be honest, Fitz had been hoping that it would rain.  Not as an excuse to bow out but as an assurance that there wouldn’t be too many people around to witness his first excursion off base in over a year.

Mack had been planning this trip for weeks.  They were taking the car with the privacy screens on the passenger side window so Fitz could feel as comfortable as possible.  It was mid week and the picnic area Mack had chosen was fairly remote.

Mack had sworn to Fitz that the likelihood of anyone coming across them was slim.

It was the crack in Mack’s voice that had convinced Fitz to agree. 

He’s not stupid, he knows that this has been hard on Mack.  He knows that Mack probably considered leaving him more than once.  But Mack had _never_ let those things show when he was with Fitz. 

Things had been slowly getting better.  There had been a breakthrough a couple of months ago and Fitz was finally comfortable with letting Mack touch him.  The intimacy that they could now share had went a long way to making things right between them but Fitz knows that his self-enforced solitude is a deal breaker.

It’s not fair of him to expect Mack to live in the dark with him.  He’s thought more than once about pushing Mack away, giving him his freedom, but ultimately, Fitz is too selfish to follow through.  He needs Mack.  He doesn’t even want to think about what would have become of him if Mack hadn’t pulled through. 

So, he’s sitting in the car, watching the world pass by, trying to keep the fear from taking over.

Mack’s hand keeps moving to Fitz’s thigh when it’s not busy changing gears, almost as if Mack needs the prrof that Fitz really is here.  Fitz smiles at him, ignoring the twinge of pain it casues as his skin tightens. 

He can do this.

They arrive at a picturesque field.  Mack stops the car and turns to Fitz with a serious look on his face.  Fitz knows that Mack is about to ask him if he’s sure, knows that he’s going to offer to turn the car around if this is too much.  Fitz is terrified that if Mack asks the question that he won’t have the strength to resist so he’s out of the car and blinking into the sunlight before he can change his mind.

Mack unpacks the picnic as Fitz stands in the field soaking it in.

He hears Mack chuckle as he closes his eyes and stretches his arms out, smiling as he feels the air against his skin.

This feels amazing. 

“ _Come on Shawshank, help me with the blanket_.”

*

They’ve had an incredible day.  Fitz had smiled more in the past two hours than he has in the last month.  Mack had picked the spot well and they hadn’t seen another soul since they parked up.

Fitz is lying on the blanket, his head pillowed on a dozing Mack. 

He knows that this is just the first step on a long road but for the first time since waking up in that basement he has hope.  Hope that things will work out.

He knows they’ll need to stop for gas on the way back.  He imagines how Mack would react if he offered to pick up snacks while they’re there.

He knows that he won’t, not today.  But maybe next time.


	28. Prompt: Matching Tattoos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Implied Torture

“They say they have Fitz. They’ll release him if we give them their prototype back.”

“With all due respect, Phil. How can we trust them? How do we even know they have Fitz? Fitz should be on a plane to Scotland. We’ve verified that he checked in at the airport. Skye, any luck tracking him in the airport via CCTV?”

“I’m working on it. May’s right though. Fitz is probably fine.”

“I certainly hope so. Simmons, they sent this package as proof that they have him. I hate to ask but can you run some tests and find out if they’re telling the truth?”

Simmons tentatively reaches for the package.

“Oh my God, is that skin?!”

Simmons barely hears Skye’s horrified exclamation as a wave of relief washes over her.

“Sir, it’s not Fitz.”

“How can you tell?”

“Fitz doesn’t have a tattoo. He hates needles.” Simmons is triumphant as she lays out the stretch of skin which clearly shows a stylised tattooed of wires shaped to form the letter ‘A’.

Mack had been standing on the sidelines trying not to destroy something in his rage and frustration, inwardly chanting that Fitz was fine, Fitz was on the plane. At the sight of the tattoo, his tattoo, his tightly held silence shatters.

“They have him. We need to get him out of there, now!”

Simmons starts to reassure him. Mack stops her by pulling his tank top down to show a matching tattoo shaped to form the letter ‘L’.

Simmons gasps. “L for Leopold, A for…”

“Alphonso.”

Coulson stands and claps Mack on the shoulder.

“We’ll get him back. Right, this is the plan…”


	29. Prompt: Visiting a Vineyard

Mack chuckled as Fitz craned his neck to get a better look at the grounds as Mack made his way up the long driveway.

“Is that a vineyard?!”

“You bet, Turbo.  Best wine this side of the Atlantic. Or so my Mom likes to brag.”

Fitz collapsed back against the seat, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe I had no idea that your family were so rich.  You don’t act like it _at all_!”

Something about the tone of Fitz’s voice caused Mack to look over at him.

“It doesn’t bother you, right?  That my family has money?”

“No! God, no!  I’m just shocked.  I mean come on, a vineyard? That’s….shocking.”

Mack couldn’t shake the feeling that something was not quite right with his boyfriend.  He’d come to pride himself on how well he could read Fitz in any given situation.  It was a handy skill to have.  The lab techs back at base were huge fans of how Mack could sense when Fitz was about to blow off the handle because that generally meant that he managed to diffuse the situation before Fitz got to the throwing things at them stage.

He wanted to pull over and talk about this, he probably should have mentioned something about his family’s circumstances before inviting Fitz to spend the weekend with them but he’d wanted it to be a surprise.

Unfortunately there was no time to do that,  the house appeared in front of them as they rounded the final bend of the mile long driveway.

It was time to introduce Fitz to the family.

*

Mack slammed the dining room door shut as he raced after Fitz.  He had stayed behind when Fitz took off to give his sister a piece of his mind but was only now realising that Fitz may have taken his delay in following as a bad sign.

The day had started so well.

Mack’s Mom and Dad had greeted them at the door and welcomed Fitz with open arms.  His Mom had fussed over how skinny Fitz was and demanded a list of his favourite dishes so she could have the kitchen staff do their best to fatten him up over the holiday weekend.

His Dad had persuaded his Mom to let them get settled before dinner and sent them off to Mack’s room with a wink.

They’d unpacked, done unspeakable things in Mack’s teenaged self's bedroom and took a brief tour of the garden before dinner.

Where it all went to hell.

Mack had never got on with his youngest sister.  He had been 19 when she was born and barely saw her growing up.  Every time he did come home though, he was baffled by how spoiled she was.  Mack and the rest of his siblings were closer in age and had grown up decidedly more lower class than his family had ended up. 

Most of the Mackenzie money came from the sale of a mechanical patent that his Dad invented when Mack was 15.  That money had been a godsend to his family and although he certainly appreciated the changes it had made to their lives, he had never let it change _him_.  His youngest sister didn’t have the luxury of the down to earth upbringing the rest of them had and boy did it show. 

Mack is still seething as his mind runs through some of the highlights of her total annihilation of Fitz at the dinner table.

*

_Oh, did no-one tell you that we dress for dinner?  Al, I can’t believe you let him come downstairs without a tie!_

_I, um, I was in an accident a while ago and I have trouble with my hands…I can’t really manage a tie anymore so I stopped wearing them_

_Oh.  That probably explains why you’ve not shaved either. I had wondered but I was too polite to say anything!_

_*_

_Goodness, I don’t know how you all can understand a word he’s saying.  That accent is so common._

_*_

_Tell me more about your brain damage?  I’m just fascinated.  I must admit that I’m astonished that Al can look past that.  But then, he has always liked trying to fix things.  Although he does have a tendency to give up on it if the results aren’t what he hoped. I’m sure that won’t happen with you though!_

_*_

Mack finally reaches his room.  Fitz is sitting at the window seat, looking out at the vineyard.

“I am so sorry about her.  My parents have asked her to leave, she won’t be back this weekend.  And, Turbo, I’ll make sure you never have to see her again.”

Fitz smiles sadly at him.

“It’s OK.  Every family has that one relative they prefer to keep in the shadows.  Remind me never to introduce you to my Uncle Rab, he’s a terrible racist, homophobe _and_ a misogynist just to round off the terrible.“

“That’s no excuse Turbo.  You shouldn’t have had to hear any of that.”

Fitz pulled Mack down into the window seat with him.

“It’s not your fault.  And I’ve dealt with rich snobs like her before.  I went to a high school full of them.  I know how to deal with them but I thought it was probably unwise to give her a Glasgow kiss at the dinner table.“

“Is that why you were upset when you found out my family had money?”

Fitz chuckles.

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I?  Yeah, it worried me.  But the rest of your family is amazing.”

“They love you.  You should have heard the yelling.”

They sit there wrapped up in each other for a moment.

“So, is the weekend ruined?”

“Honestly, it was ruined the moment I saw the vineyard.  I hate wine.”


End file.
